The Absence of Him
by girlbehindtheglass
Summary: It was always the three of them... always. But when Soul dies he leaves a hole in Maka's world.Kid may be just wht she needs in her life it fill the cracks.  plz be kind with your reviews :D


I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER

Chapter 1: birthday presents and explosions

T had always been the three of them. Always. Then there was five… then seven… but in the end there had always been the three of them. As stupid as it had sounded in the beginning ..there were really the only constants in her life… the only two boys that hadn't be maliciously run off by her father and weren't trying to get in her pants all the time. They respected her space … until high school. Since childhood she had never thought of either one as the one. But then he told her the truth… Soul Evans.. What his true feeling were.

(Flash back)

"Hey Maka … is Kid around?"

"No he just left ..why Soul do you need him?"

"No… I just needed you alone for a minuet… I need to tell you something…"

Her heart had been beating like a humming birds ever since she had seen him a few weeks before…out all alone looking up at the moon… the moonlight must have ignited something inside her and she felt like she needed him more than ever.

"Kay..shoot." she smiled sitting up on the fence. His face had broken out into a dark blush. As he said this "Maka … you know we've been friends for a long time… have you … have you … god this is so uncool… I … Maka .. Have you ever thought that maybe we could be more … because I have … and if the rest of our lives is okay Id like to be with you that whole time… but not as your friend… because I…I love you Maka Alborn." Her heart had stopped in that instant and she had said nothing. "Well judging by the blank expression I think 'll take that as a no… sorry Maka I-" but she hadn't let him finnish she had just sinply kissed him. As they had parted he had smiled happily "I'll take that as ayes then…" he smiled and then kissed her lips again.

(End of Flash back)

The memory was so painful…

"he's gone Maka … you can't bring him back…" she whispered to herself as she buried her face in the sweater she carried with her… it was the last thing he wore before that day.

(Flash back)

"My father would kill us both if he found us like this…" she had laughed into his neck as they lay together under the sheets. Their bare bodies were twisted together slightly and he laughed back, "It's a good thing that your step mom kept him busy isn't it .." he laughed and leaned down to kiss her. "I love you Maka…" he whispered into her lips and pulled away slightly. "which is why …" Then and there had been the happiest moment of her life. "Will you marry me ?" he asked holding out a small red box. She had looked from him to the box and then screamed happily. "Yes yes yes yes a million and one time yes Soul Evan !" She had thrown her arms around him and kissed him breathless. "Aww crap …" he had muttered into their kiss. "What is it ?" she had asked quietly smiling up at him.

"I have to go to work… its Saturday… I promise I'll be back before dinner …t hen we can announce it to your family and not to mention Kid .." he laughed. "Okay…please hurry back.." she whispered kissing him again. "I promise…I love you Mrs. Evan .." he had smiled kissing her goodbye. "I love you too Mr. Evan… have a good day at work."

(end of Flash back)

Those would be the last words she would ever say to him. Because he never came home from work that day. A complete accident they had called it… nobody's fault ? How could it have been nobody's fault … ? The love of her life was dead and gone … she would never be able to believe it was nobody's fault. At only 17 years old she lost everything. And it only happened a year ago.

The phone rang. As she usually did she reached for the phone numbly and answered quietly "Hello?"

"Hey Maka … it's Kid … how are you?" he asked a hint of concern in his voice. "I'm fine.. Still hanging in here." she laughed grimly. "That's good … do you think I would be permitted to stop by?" he asked softly. She paused. She hadn't had anyone over in a couple of months and she was a bit wary about being around people again… but this was Kid … her childhood friend and no matter how bad she felt she always had time for him. "Yeah ..sure you can.. Don't even ask anymore …" she sighed a few tears falling from her eyes. This boy was the son of a wealthy family that controls most of the world's supplies. "Alright… I apologize in advance for how you may see me … but I haven't been well enough to be completely symmetrical. And don't worry … I'm not contagious.." he laughed slightly. "That's fine Kid … I'll see you then." she couldn't help but smile when she talked to him.. He was the only one who could make her anymore.

(an hour later)

He still wasn't there yet and she tapped her fingers against the kitchen counter as she stared out the bay window.

"He's a half an hour late… he's never late…" she whispered quietly. What if…" she felt her tears well up in her eyes and she gripped her clothes tightly. Then the phone rang… her body froze and she went numb. She picked the phone up off the receiver and answered slowly. "Hello?" she asked. " hey Maka ..its me I just had to gt something's before I came over so stop worrying. Okay?… go sit down and watch some T.V okay …I'll be right there ..I promise Maka." he stated calmly. "oh…okay.." she smiled abit quietly. "Ill see you in a few …" he sighed before hanging up.

(KID"S POV)

"You hear that … she still worries about that… never showing up to see her." he stated staring down at the headstone. He came here often to vent and rant to his old friend. "You ruined her Soul…you big idiot… why did you have to go and die like a bastard… you left her … the one that you knew we both were in love with… you took my love's heart in life and in death… you stole everything from me . You took Maka and then you… my best friend… went and died !" god you are such an idiot!" he yelled up at the sky. "I didn't even get a chance to kick your ass for taking her from me !" he wailed as tears slipped from his eyes. This was the first time since he heard of Soul's death that he cried. "Its been almost a year and yet you still keep her to yourself… she can't even go outside anymore! She died when you did! All she does at that house is wait for death to come and take her with him to see you again… its not fair Soul…" he sobbed rubbing the tears out of his eyes. " But I'm going to take her back … and this time I'll be the one who keeps her safe from harm… I'm not going to destroy her like you did. Then when its her time… I'll give you her back,,, but not untill then." he smirked kicking up a clump of loose dirt. "I'll be going now… see you later Soul…" he called over his shoulder then walked back through and got into his car.

(MAKA'S POV)

She heard his car roar up into the driveway and her tension eased. She ran to the door and threw it open. "Hey Mak-" She ran into his arms and buried her face into his chest. Tears slipped from her eyes … she hadn't seen him in 2 months and it felt like an eternity. "I missed you…" she reliped sheepishly. "Good … cause I missed you …" he smiled at her wrapping his arms around her. "Please don't stay away so long again…" she cried quietly a blush coming onto her face. Then she felt guilt setting in and she recoiled from his embraced.

"Whats wrong?" he asked softly touching the top of her head. "nothing.." she smiled up at him soft. "Alright..if you say so …" he smiled back. Then he linked arms with her and dragged her inside. He set their dinner down on the table and retrieved two object from the take out bags.

"Oh yeah Maka… Here … these are your birthday presents…I wanted to take you out instead of eating in but … I didn't think youd except if that was the case." he stated sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

She smiled a bit and looked at the beautiful wrap job hed done. "You spent a long time on this didn't you?" she asked a sweat drop forming on the back of her hed. "8 hours and 28 second exactly…" he replied proudly. She laughed a bit and sat up on the counter. "which one should I open first?"she asked looking at the two boxes. "The smaller one…" he replied. She tore back the paper and looked inside at a black satin box. "Hmm… I wonder what it could be?" she giggled. She opened it and inside lay a sliver hair pin that looked like a rabbit. It was embedded with crystals and threw an arry of colors across the kitchen. "Kid… oh wow… it beautiful…" she breathed turning it over in the light. These another thing underneath that…" he stated smiling. "Where?" she asked inspecting the box. "Here…" he replied lifting a small latch that exposed a small lid inside. Inside the lid lay a small hair clip. It was a small white bunny on an orangle band holding a small yellow flower. She looked up at him and set the hair piece down. She picked the clip out gently and a tear slid down her face. "Kid… you kept this?" she smiled as another tear fell. "Why are you crying Maka?" he asked quietly. "You kept this … " she smiled happily. "How could I not … its been 14 years since I made that promise to you… I can't believe I have such an amazing friend." she smiled more wrapping her arms around him.

(KID"S POV)

A friend… better than nothing he sighed. This was the only girl in the academy that had been able to resist his charm and had tamed the wildest bad boy at the academy.. She was something very special… something any man should desire. … well any sane man anyway. But he was thinking childish thoughts. She needed him to be her friend… not her …boyfriend…or lover… not even her one night stand. But these were the time when he whole heartedly wished that Soul had never existed. God do I want to tell you! I want to tell you so bad I feel like im being stabbed. I want to scream in pain every time you leave my side. I hope those dark storm clouds turn to rain… I hope you make me stay… please let me hold you a bit longer. He thought to himself quietly. But her separation from him was inevitable.

(MAKA"S POV)

"it's the same bunny in the clip and the hair piece." he smiled at her clipping her hair back in the small clip. "MMM! Thank you Kid ! This is awesome…" she cried happily and kissed his cheek. Then her face darkened and she sighed. "Sorry…" she whispered softly. He must have noticed and he smiled at her softly.. "Why don't you open the next one.?" She smiled at him and blushed a bit." okay…. "

The next box was a bit bigger and lighter. She tore open the paper and stared down at a a champagne colored box. "Well this looks expensive…"she laughed lifting the lid. "Well.. It was but that doesn't matter. She froze and looked inside "Oh Kid… its gorgeous…" she whispered lifting a bright red dress up out of the box. It was a form fitting ball gown with a split up the side and a layer of ruffles underneath the tight fabric. "I hope you like it .. But if not I can have her make it in a different size or a different color …or anything really…but I thought it would suit you…especially once I give you your last gift. "I'm taking you somewhere …"he stated. She looked at him curiously. He handed her an envelope and she opened it slowly. Inside lay two plane tickets. "What are these for…?" she asked slowly a smile began to creep across her face. "Well one is for me ..and the other is for you… I'm taking you to Paris…." he replied smiling. "Paris? Are you serious! Kid if your joking I'm going to kill you …" she gasped as she laughed happily. "No its no joke… I'm taking you there and we are staying for three weeks. How does that sound?" he smiled. "Oh …my god that sounds amazing are you kidding …" she laughed her green eyes sparkling.. "Alright when s it?" she mumbled looking at the ticket. "August 20th … alright good cause my collage course start in late September… this is gonna be amazing…" she cried happily. " I'm glad you like your present… " he smiled leaning on the counter.

(Two hours later in the living room)

"Wow the special effects in this suck …" she laughed putting another piece of fried vegetable into her mouth. "Most defiantly…" he laughed. "You cold Maka?" he asked looking at her shaking body. "No I'm okay… just a bit scared that's all…" she smiled up at him. "why?" he asked as she pointed out the window. The dark clouds on the horizon had drawn closer and she shivered against his side. "Oh ! Well I guess I should get going then ..before that storm hits." he sighed getting up from the couch. "But as he began to walk towards the kitchen to get his things. "Wait!" she cried.

(KID"S POV)

I felt her arms slip around me and I froze. "Maka?" I asked looking back at her. "Please… please don't go… I don't want you to go out in that… please don't .." breathed against my lower back. I smiled and ran my hand through my hair. "Okay… I'll stay until it leaves …okay?" I asked her leaning on the couch.

"Sure…" she whispered letting go of my waist. "Oh come on Maka… don't cry… I love you… please don't cry…" I sighed. Then I realized what I had said. I had gone and sone it… I said the thing that I never should have said… maybe she wouldn't notice…

"You what?" she asked looking up at me with wide eyes. Oh shit…

"I mean I …I love you as a friend …"I stuttered backing away from her. "Oh… damn… Maka… I'm not ready to tell you yet …" I blushed turning away. I watched her take a long gulp of Sake and her face began to get pink from the alcohol. "Please tell me…" she smiled up at me drunkenly. I smiled back and thought… She's drunk...she wont remember anything…. But then again …. Id be taking advantage of her…that's wrong… but how long have I waited for this… to tell her how I felt…to show her what she has always meant to me? Oh hell… why not what do you have to loose.

"Maka…" I began but she pulled me down onto the couch on top of her. I knew my face ad to be the color of a tomato but I didn't care. "Maka I… I … Maka …" but the words wouldn't come out. It was like my voice had stopped working. "What is it Kid…please tell me …" she implored with a questioning look on her face. But then I didn't even get to reply. Her lips had brushed mine and I felt her breath against my cheek. I was on the edge of something and I knew if I took it a set farther I would never get to come back. "Maka…" I breathed trying to pull away. "Please …kiss me…" she whispered back against my skin. "Maka no… your drunk you don't know what your talking about…" I sighed trying to pull away "No… I'm not drunk… please Kid…Can you kiss me?" she asked staring up into my eyes.

Fuck my Life…

There was no turning back now … she had asked me after all. I felt like an animal… filthy and primal..like I had no control over my body. I kissed her slowy at first but then I lost control. I attacked her soft lips violently and then I moved down from her lips and traveled to her neck. She reacted as if we had done this amillion times …but we had done this before.

(flashback)

"Come on Maka ..its been a year.. Don't you think its time to move on?" he had asked her as she tugged at the hem of her black dress. "Graduation is in 2 weeks and you won't even come to school anymore.." he gasped. " I..I can't leave …" she had sobbed . "Why! So you can sit around and wait for a man who is never coming home Maka ! Hes dead you ideot ! Why can't you just except it and move on!"

At the time he had been angrey and frustrated and grief stricken. He knew that and so did she ..but the words still came and went. Her eyes had welled up with tears as she cried more. "I know Kid! I know I should! I've tried everything! But he won't leave!" she had run into his arms and clung to him tightly. He remember that painful expression on her face and the need in her eyes. Being who he was there was no way he would take advantage of her but it was she who first took advantage of him. He took her face in his hands and wiped the tears out of her swollen red eyes. "I'm sorry Maka …I didn't mean it. " And that was how the conversation had ended. Her lips took control of his in that moment and they had stayed like that for a good hour. And needless to say he had ended up in bed with her in the morning. Yes it was she who used him first… but back then they were both sober and intoxicated with grief. Now it was different… very different.

(end of flash back)

Maka…" he whispered in my ear. She shivered and felt like she was going to cry. Why did I do this… it was only hurting us both. And what did we gain from it?….nothing… but all the same …its like being with him again… my skin is on fire and my body is moving on its own. He makes me feel alive again… and I can't get enough of it. He wasn't anything like soul… apperance or otherwise … he is caulm and collected… a gentelmen with the utmost charm. Dashing good looks that any man would kil to have with the amount of women it attracted. And the most amzing golden eyes… all in all a god… but Soul had been the only man in the world that despite his imperfections had always been perfect for her. This man on the other hand was equally amazing but when she was with him it felt different…like this puzzle piece was only one bit off but still couldn't mesh with her perfectly. "Kid…"she breathed. She felt like her soul was on fire and she knew he felt the same.

(the next morning)

The light from the open window burned a hole in Kid's retna as he slowly opened his eyes. The curtains whispered back and forth inside the frame and rain drop fell gently onto the window sill. Then he remembered. The sleeping form next to him russled and he smiled. He had to leave now ..like he had last time this had happened. He moved slowly so as not to wake her and slipped on his pants. But then he looked back at her and felt like his heart would explode. He then carefully got back into the bed next to her. She was still half asleep but she still felt his arms slip around her. His head rested iself aginst her back and she felt a blush crawl onto her face. Wht am I doing? She asked herself softly She felt him move her hair aside and kissed her neck softly. Tears slipped from her eyes then and she whispered "Soul…" He froze when he heard his friend's name. But simply smiled afterwards and stroked her hair. "For you Maka … I'll be anyone …" he whispered in her ear. He felt her body shift and she looked up into his eyes. She began to search his eyes for something. She didn't know quiet what but she needed to find it. She leaned up and kissed him softly then whispered "Then I want you to be Kid…" He froze and felt his eyes grow wide. "But…I'm not sure what I feel for you at this point… I know I'm weak and I can't make decisions easily… but I promise … I'll make up my mind soon." she smiled into his neck. He blushed but then his face faded."Are you sure?" he asked slowly. She looked back up at him and sighed. "Yes …" she whispered. He felt the same twing of heartache and pain stab at him. In that moment the balloon of hurt,anger,confusion,lust, and betrayal that had been expanding for 15 years finally exploded. "Sure you will…" he huffed throwing back the covers. "Whats wrong Kid?" she asked grabbing his arm. He turned on her and glared "Is this how its always going to be? You jerking my feelings around when it suits you best…. When you start missing him again! I'm not a toy Maka! I'm done being your fall guy! I'm done being around when you need me… all you do is use me! You know how I feel about you Maka ! But you won't except them ! All you do is pretend they don't exist and use me as an outlet! …I'm done being used…" he finished picking his shirt and jacket up off the floor. "I'm done being hurt…." She felt her whole body go numb. He was leaving her … and she didn't know if he would ever come back.

"KID!" she called as he ran out the bedroom door. She threw on her robe and chased after him desperately… but it was too late. The engine of his car had already started and he was driving away. "KID!" she screamed but he payed no mind to her. "I don't care if I'm acting like a child…." he muttered putting on the gas. "I don't care if I'm acting like a total chick… I done being put through that…" he hissed between clenched teeth.

She watched pitifully from the side of the road as he drove away from her empty house.

"Soul… what should I do…" she sighed as a tear slipped off her chin. What if she last Him forever?


End file.
